Saving Mary

Why Do Women Cry?

Posted on by Deidre Havrelock

Okay, yes…it’s true. Sometimes I cry for no apparent reason. Sometimes I cry just because there’s a cry in me. (I can’t explain it.) It just seems that emotions get bottled up and eventually they gotta come out. I also cry for good reasons, like when I hear about tragedies, and/or unfairness or oppression…I cry if someone has no friends, I cry especially hard if a child gets hurt. I cry if I’m happy, too. I do a lot of crying…mostly to myself (thank goodness). And yes, I cried when Sandy hit the coast and washed away people’s homes.  After a good cry, I feel better able to relate to people and emotionally ready to help. I was thinking about all this crying today while I was reading about the Old Testament judge Deborah. (My husband cries too, by the way…crying is extremely healthy.)

“At that time Deborah, a prophetess, wife of Lappidoth, was judging Israel. She used to sit under the palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim; and the Israelites came up to her for judgment.” (Judg 4:4-5, NRSV).

Now, the interesting thing about this verse is that “the palm of Deborah” was not named after Deborah the Judge, but after Rebekah’s nurse:

“And Deborah, Rebekah’s nurse, died, and she was buried under an oak below Bethel. So it was called Allon-bacuth.” {That is [Oak of weeping]} (Gen 35:8 NRSV).

Obviously a lot of people cried when Deborah died. And I love the idea that Judge Deborah choose to sit here, under “The Oak of Weeping” to administer justice to the children of Israel. It seems rather fitting to me. It makes me feel that when I cry I’m in good company. It also makes me think that this is why we should not grieve the Holy Spirit–she doesn’t like it when her children disrespect and hurt each other.

“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were marked with a seal for the day of redemption. Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.”(Eph 4:30–32, NRSV)

(The Holy Bible: New Revised Standard Version. 1989 . Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers.)



> A little boy asked his mother, “Why are you crying?”
> > “Because I’m a woman,” she told him.
> >
> > “I don’t understand,” he said. His Mom just hugged
> > him
> > and said, “And you never will.”
> >
> > Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does
> > mother seem to cry for no reason?”
> >
> > “All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could
> > say.
> >
> > The little boy grew up and became a man, still
> > wondering why women cry..
> >
> > Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the
> > phone, he asked, “God, why do women cry so easily?”
> >
> > God said
> >
> > “When I made the woman she had to be special.
> >
> > I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the
> > weight
> > of the world,
> >
> > yet gentle enough to give comfort.
> >
> > I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth
> > and
> > the rejection that many times comes from her
> > children.
> >
> > I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going
> > when everyone else gives up, and take care of her
> > family through sickness and fatigue without
> > complaining.
> >
> > I gave her the sensitivity to love her children
> > under
> > any and all circumstances, even when her child has
> > hurt her very badly.
> >
> > I gave her strength to carry her husband through his
> > faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his
> > heart.
> >
> > I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never
> > hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths
> > and
> > her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
> >
> > And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers
> > exclusively to use whenever it is needed.”
> >
> > “You see my son,” said God, “the beauty of a woman
> > is
> > not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she
> > carries, or the way she combs her hair.
> >
> > The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes,
> > because that is the doorway to her heart – the place
> > where love resides.”

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